Week 14

As usual, Briana arrives in a great mood. She is happy to see me and gives me a hug. As we head downstairs, I comment on how she is practically taking the stairs all by herself now. I ask her if she remembers how much I used to help her on the stairs and she says, "Yep!"

Once we get downstairs, she knows exactly what to do. Today she says, "I'm going to do the treadmill all by myself."

"Okay, Briana, do you want me to help you get started?"

"Nope. I'm going to do it all by myself. You go do something, and I will surprise you."

I couldn't help but feel apprehensive and excited at the same time. This would be a huge accomplishment for Briana. She always gets a little upset when the treadmill first starts up because it goes a bit fast then slows down. She always wants to make sure that I'm there to hold her back, and she always tells me how much she hates it when it goes fast. Once it steadies out, she is fine and is able to continue on her own. So for her to press start and get going completely on her own, she would be addressing a fear. I want this for her, but I also want to make sure she stays safe. What if she falls? What if she gets hurt? This would set us back and create more fear for her.

I realize that I am worried for no good reason. Briana has never showed signs of falling off the treadmill. She has never come anywhere close to stumbling. Today, coming down the stairs, she showed how much her balance has improved. She is moving around easily and independently. So, I decide to have faith. I trust that she will be okay.

I walk to the other side of the room and pretend to do some computer work. She gets onto the treadmill easily. She holds onto the rails. Aloud, she gives herself some encouragement "You can do this." She takes one hand off the rail, presses 1 then start. (She has watched me do this dozens of times, so I knew she would know how to start it). She holds on tight and she is fine, perfectly fine! I breathe a sigh of relief, wait about two minutes, then go over to talk to her. She is happy and chatty during her ten minute warm up, so I assume the rest of the workout can only go uphill.

At the fifteen minute mark, Briana's attitude takes a u-turn. She becomes more than agitated. She seems angry. She snaps at me. She tells me to leave her alone. She says she wants to go home. She stops and says I can't make her do anything. I say, "Briana, you are right. I can't make you do anything you don't want to do. But I know you want to do this, so I will just sit here and wait until you are ready."

"No. Don't do that. Take me home this minute." And she sits down on the mat, crosses her arms firmly and looks the other way. I sit near her and stare at the floor. I realize that we are now in a stand-off. Luckily, God has blessed me with tremendous patience. So, I sit and wait while Briana talks aloud "I'm not doing it. Yes, you are. No, I'm not." She has this conversation several times with herself.

When I least expect it, she jumps up and picks up where she left off. When she completes the set, I compliment her. "Just leave me alone," she says and plops herself down on the bench again.

"Okay," I say. "You know what comes next. You can get started when you're ready."

"Just leave me alone. Just take me home this minute," she argues.

"Briana, your mom will be here at the end of your workout. I am not taking you home. You are here to work. Why are you so upset all of the sudden?"

"I don't know. I just want to go home."

Well, she didn't go home, and she did get up and finish her workout. By the time she reached the final exercise, her mood was great again. By the time she was on the treadmill for her ten minute ending, she was chatty again. I am still unsure what set her off. I wonder if possibly the huge accomplishment she had at the beginning of her workout (getting started on the treadmill all by herself) zapped her energy? I will watch to see if this is a pattern.

Perhaps on days when Briana achieves a milestone or makes big progress, I need to tone everything else down. I will certainly be as sensitive as I can to make sure she continues to succeed. For now, I'm simply grateful that we have made it through this day. She tells me to wait while she goes upstairs. By the time I go up, she is out the door and halfway to the car. I wave at her mom and say "Goodbye, Briana. You did great today. I will see you tomorrow."